Return of the Two Foot Monster, aka. Channel Swimmers and Sudocrem
Family / Our Hero

Return of the Two Foot Monster, aka. Channel Swimmers and Sudocrem

At two years of age, Abigail was used to replace the siren on the village fire engine whenever it broke down. As a twelve year-old, we hire her out to the American military to make sample recordings – for use as chemical warfare warning sirens in Iraq.

“B0!!0cks!” Thinks our hero.

Like a sort of stunted, cross-channel swimmer, who has forgotten to take her clothes off, the two-foot tall, white monster, is covering itself in white grease.

It is surprising how far a 250g tub of Sudocrem will go when spread about 2cm thick (that’s an inch – for my mum & dad), over everything within reach of a two-foot tall, albino demon.

Any successful recipes for getting white grease out of beige carpet will be gratefully received. Continue reading

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